A Discourse on the Theory of the Nature of Bla.

Sanity Team researchers in a joint partnership with Austrian Deep Thought
Gang's Chemistry & Complicated Digital Thingie Department Agent 42 have
devised a new theoretical particle that appears to preserve and increase
inertia in complex systems: the Bla. Bla itself cannot be detected or
isolated, but its effects can be measured in amounts of apathy and general
inertia. Certain chemicals and frequencies seem to generate larger amounts
of apathy than others. For instance, television rays, marijuana, alcohol
and the frequencies generated by certain politicians contain high
quantities of densely concentrated Bla. As noted by some observers exposure
to excess Bla could result in extended periods of pure apathy.
Interestingly enough, some unconfirmed resources seem to report individuals
who intently expose themselves to immense Bla through any means possible;
the possible effects of this on human society has not yet been sufficiently
researched and can thus not be reported on. Before we take further
discussion into the nature of Bla let us try to explain its origin. No
theory of its wherefrom could be ratified up to this point, but most
scientists seem to agree on Bla coming into existance immediately after the
Big Bla occured (currently assumed to have happened some 15 odd billion
years ago, but this is subject to change). Resulting from this theory of
origin is the existance of Anti Bla (or alB) which should by all means be
handled seperately of Bla, especially when trying to isolate more pure
amounts of either Bla or alB. The disastrous results of Bla and alB
unleashing their combined forces are widely known and commonly referred to
as TV. Another interesting quality of Bla is its apparent violation of the
first law of thermodynamics, in that it somewhat resembles a perpetuum
mobile in principle. Cold Blasion has actually been proven to work,
inputting small amounts of Bla usually result in much larger quantities of
Bla output. All research of applying that quality for energy productions
was resultless, the consensus now being that as Bla seems to induce inertia
it thus simply slows down any kind of exothermal process, eventually even
to a complete stop. Research groups now seem to concentrate on more
promising fields such as the use of Bla for disabling thermonuclear devices
(one scientist going as far as to propose to simply put a TV set at the
destination, and therefore stopping any nuclear chain reaction as soon as
it started. No practical experiments have been conducted on this and it is
unclear if this will ever happen at this point) or using it as highly
efficient brakes and coolants for space crafts reentering the earths
atmosphere. Unfortunately, with reduced government spending worldwide,
research funds are generally insufficient. No revenue generating uses of
Bla have been found, so further study of that field has an unknown future.
We can only hope for a breakthrough while existing contracts last. "this
last part is cheesy and needs removal/replacement... editors note" One
interesting and easy to prove experiment everyone can try is to simply
speak out "Bla" loudly to a group of people and carefully observe the
results. Most likely most persons present will reply with a "Bla" of some
sort of their on, thereby proving that little input of Bla creates lot of
output Bla. Don't be afraid, try it for yourself and discover that natural
sciences are easy to comprehend, prove and above all, are fun! That quality
can be compared to entropy, such as nature trying to increase the amount of
entropy within a system. The recently discovered so called "Preferred
direction of the Universe" can to some extent also be explained by the
forces of Bla being isotropic and Bla being universally present. 
 Therefore all aforementioned must be disregarded as of this moment, as
this document is lacking a lot of Bla and cannnot possibly exist without
that amount of inertia required to reduce two entire GigaBlas and GigaalBs
into one GigaTV programming. Resulting from the resulting paradoxon is
another paradoxon which in itself disappears into nothingness as it cannot
exist without it not existing which ends up in this really terribly Escher
like staircase that your brain just goes Brrrrrr at when regarding. It has
been reported by several sources that certain amounts of Blas converted by
any single entity in relatively short amounts of time radically changes
that entities view and understanding of the Bla itself. This might be the
inner meaning of Bla. Of what Bla is all about. Researchers are not quite
sure about the whole thing yet, but somehow the decimal number 42 is in
some intricate way related to Bla. There is actually an interesting story
about all that, has something to do with a famous Austrian Beer named
Goesser, but well, that's just what it is, stories... No rockhard
scientific proof. Some other facts about Bla: Bla looked at through a
microscope or other magnifying device looks just like regular Bla, only
bigger. No sign of Up-, Down- or CharmBlas has been recorded. Bla is
odorless, soundless, invisible, you cannot feel its presence, tasteless,
and has really, really bad manners, too. Bla in itself cannot be detected
by the human being or through any kind of scientific metering device. Bla
can only be observed by observing its effects and deducing from their
nature the nature of Bla itself. Bla has mostly temporal effects, meaning
that while its average level is mostly the same throughout time and varies
strongly by being very concentrated in certain small areas for short
amounts of time (measurably in hours.)  Bla flucuations, as they are
called, are very common all over the world, other planets and stars not
being tested yet, this seems to be part of the Bla's nature.
    I think the possibilities of harnessing Bla have well been underway for
the past fifty years, without the scientific field's involvement. Politics
and entertainment have been making use of Bla's ability to generate
considerable apathy in environments to their own advantages. This seems to
be an ingenious evolutionary and cultural adaptation to a Bla-rich
environment. North America seems to be a region where Bla has been openly
exploited by the inhabitants for their own cultural aims (or lack thereof).
Los Angeles, for example, has developed a complicated chain of organisms
dedicated to the production, output and consumption of apathy generated by
what may be Bla-saturated minerals deep within the San Andreas fault line.
This is not unlike the ecosystem of the deep underwater abysses, where
creatures feed on microscopic thermovores. Los Angeles Bla is sent around
the world via satellite, where Blavores depend on the apathy generated by
the concentrated Bla waves found in news and advertising.
     Other Sanity Team agents will be called to determine exactly the
detrimental effects of Bla production on non-Bla based entities. Initial
studies indicate that Bla has mutagenic properties that create a dependance
on Bla after exposure...

Bla research overwhelming...
Too much bla!
Must continue writing!!... Must continue....
 Ah, fuck it.

Copyright © Deep Thought - HBD & TO - 1997